[伯特]帮助您的孩子比大多数人更成功的 5 种方法，其中包括“许多父母未能教导的方法”

父母经常担心他们的孩子长大后如何适应这个世界。

他们长大后会快乐并适应良好的环境吗？

他们会找到一份好工作并过上舒适的生活吗？

每个孩子都是不同的，每个人都按照自己的节奏发展。

但事实证明，在培养成功的孩子方面，有些策略比其他策略更有效。

心理学家和其他育儿专家表示，父母可以通过以下五种方式帮助孩子为未来的成功做好准备。

将自信置于自尊之上

您可以互换使用“自信”和“自尊”。

但教育心理学家 Michele Borba 在 2022 年为 CNBC Make It 撰文称，在养育一个成功的孩子方面，一个比另一个更重要。

自尊代表我们如何看待自己的整体。

自信反映了我们在特定情况下对自己能力的信心程度。

这两个概念是相关的，但研究表明，自信是未来成功的更好指标，因为它有助于坚定孩子们的信念，即他们的技能和努力将带来丰厚的成果——比如取得好成绩或在体育运动中表现出色。

博尔巴写道：“真正的自信是表现出色、面对障碍、创造解决方案并重新振作起来的结果。”

博尔巴指出，父母最好通过退后一步，让孩子自己成功或失败，而不是徘徊并试图为他们解决孩子的问题，从而增强孩子的自信心。

这样做可以帮助他们学会在失败时重新振作，并相信自己最终会成功。

教导自我控制

研究表明，自我控制有助于决定未来的成功。

新西兰奥塔哥大学研究人员进行的一项长达数十年的研究显示，当孩子们学会忽略不必要的干扰并控制自己的情绪和行为时，他们通常会变得更聪明、更有动力。

作家兼心理学专家尼尔·埃亚尔 (Nir Eyal) 在 2019 年为 Make It 撰文称：“保持注意力不集中是 21 世纪最重要的技能，而许多父母却未能教会孩子这项技能。”

Eyal 建议尽早开始。

幼儿可以开始理解时间的概念，这意味着父母可以开始解释预算时间以专注于重要的发展活动的重要性。

孩子们甚至可以通过玩耍来学习自我控制，包括“冻结标签”和“红灯、绿灯”等游戏。

给予他们自主权

儿童心理学家 Tovah Klein 博士去年告诉 Make It，自我激励的能力是帮助孩子成长为成功成年人的两个重要特征之一。

（另一个？信心。）

Establish expectations for your child, with their input, when it comes to everyday actions like getting themselves ready for school, choosing after-school activities and doing their chores, bestselling author and parenting expert Esther Wojcicki recommends.

"The more you trust your children to do things on their own, the more empowered they'll be," Wojcicki wrote for Make It in 2022.

Eyal also suggested using tactics like making "effort pacts" with their kids, where they commit to specific limits on tempting distractions — like a one-hour daily limit on screen time.

Don't stress over perfection

Wojcicki raised three successful children — a doctor and two high-profile CEOs — but she never demanded perfection from them. That made a big difference, she noted.

Give your children room to fail, treating their mistakes and setbacks with empathy rather than scorn, to help them maintain confidence while learning to view failures as learning opportunities, she advised.

"Mastery means doing something as many times as it takes to get it right ... It was the learning and the hard work that I wanted to reward, not getting it right the first time," she wrote.

Perfectionism doesn't make your child more likely to succeed in the future, and it can contribute to mental health issues like anxiety and low self-esteem, research shows.

You can teach your kids to reframe how they think about making mistakes by openly discussing errors you've made, how you've solved problems and what you learned in the process, Bryant University psychology professor Allison Butler told Make It in January.

Talk about financial literacy

It's never too early to teach your kids about money: how to earn it, spend it wisely and save it while planning for the future. Most U.S. students don't learn those lessons in school, which can cost them money as adults, according to a 2023 survey by the National Financial Educator's Council.

Parenting expert Margot Machol Bisnow interviewed the parents of 70 highly accomplished adults for her 2022 book, "Raising an Entrepreneur: How to Help Your Children Achieve Their Dreams." Teaching financial literacy was a common thread for those parents, she found.

"Although the parents I spoke to never pushed their kids towards pursuing a high-paying job, all of them made an effort to teach their kids about money in one form or another," Bisnow wrote for Make It in 2022. You could give kids an allowance and insist they save up their own money to spend on items they want, but don't necessarily need, like a new pair of roller skates, she noted.

You can also try talking to your kids about money in practical, "matter of fact" ways, like discussing how much everyday items cost, says Alexa von Tobel, the Harvard-trained investor and founder of online financial advisory LearnVest.

冯·托贝尔上个月告诉《Make It》，告诉你的孩子，金钱只不过是“帮助你过上你想要的生活的工具”。

“金钱不应该被崇拜。它也不应该被忽视。”

想在 2024 年找到梦想的工作吗？

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